HemoManiac's Ban Appeal (Rustez [UK] Zombie Scourge)

[hemomaniac]

I would like to submit a ban appeal for recent behavior. And also for some apparent misunderstandings and/or coincidences. 

Let me start by saying, I ONLY play rustez servers. I purchased this $35 game just to be a part of rustez. Not only did I donate $20, but I have also purchased a $20 Vip, upon having some money in my balance for the mall. I do not play any type of PvP whatsoever because I cannot deal with toxicity and harassment that happens there. Not to mention, I do not like to raid people bc I hate making people feel bad to lose their things, as I would be if it happened to me. I fight PvE. Zombies, animals, heli, bradley, scientists. Not being able to play this server hurts my heart so badly. I cannot play any other server than rustez. So all my hard work and all my money is now gone.

I was Playing on UK scourge zombies. There are a few things I would like to say about the things that happened during the time i was there. I was told that I was warned several times about things but didnt abide. Im going to explain why i feel I dont agree with how harsh this punishment was. My First Warning was an arguement I had with another player in a different scourge rustez server. This was definitely true, and I cannot dispute the warning. However the next I can. Let me start by saying Im a brand new player. I just started playing a week ago. And my viewpoints on this game by all the videos ive watched on rust and by things that are said in rust servers were that of very deeply offensive, sexual, harassing, or toxic nature. I am definitely not a man who involves himself in this type of behavior. In fact, I feel like Im one of the best role models of how someone should act on Rust (aside from a few spats that ive had with players in being disrespected). Now that I have started playing this game myself and not watching it on Youtube, I felt there was very little you could do/say that could get you banned. Ive even recently watched admins with my own eyes allowing and participating in very toxic endeavors. My first day playing UK rustez scourge I had ran into a player, and had simply greeted him with something that is said every other second here where I am from. Not only is this greeting widely used where Im from, i see it all the time in rust. So When I said it, i didnt think anything of it being offensive. Most of you know what was said. Some of you dont. So Ill just let you in on it. I said "Hey whats up my ninja, who is that up there!?" But it wasnt "ninja". From the deepest part of my heart, I swear it was not meant with racist intent. I was just trying to talk with the guy and make conversation. It didnt have a hard "R" at the end, and it wasnt directly calling someone that word. I used it as a simple greeting, and now I know it is not permitted. This was the first warning. And I had told the admin that I agreed and wouldnt do it again. I had also apologized to that player directly as he was preparing to log off the server that same exact day and assured him it wasnt intented to hurt him. And ever since this had happened, I kept my word and never said it even once. I think this is what this ban was REALLY about. Because the rest of the following Warnings warranting my ban were, in my eyes, uncalled for. 

Supposedly there was an incident that I had heard about. A player had grieved a guy that was built on an island by placing 10x Tool cupboards around his building so that he couldnt build. That player was banned. I had looked into the situation just to see what he had done to receive the ban. I spent literally roughly 2 minutes on the topic and went back to game play. Well the following day I was finally prepared to take on cargo ship. But i needed a dock. So I had made 4 docks. One on the top, bottom, left, and right. But if you look at the right of the map, there was a gap of water divided by an island. If i had put my dock there my boat would be stuck, due to shallow water and sand. So I had no choice but to build my dock on the other side of that water division all the way at the edge of the sea. So this is what I did. I spent about 10k wood that i worked for, and about 2 hours of my time building it. At the moment on my and Zomb were online at the time. So I needed a player to drive me to the cargo ship. I asked if zomb wanted to drive me and i would split the loot with her. She agreed. So I asked her to teleport to my dock. Upon starting to drive, she then started yelling at me "why did you build here! You know your not allowed to build here!".....Naturally Im extremely confused, because I had thought you were allowed to build anywhere in the game as long as it was blue and not red. She continues to talk but i cant hear anything shes saying because the motor is running. So we decide to wait until the cargo was done. When it was done, and were on way back home she got very belligerent with me, directly accusing me of knowing about that area and what the player did to grief him earlier that day. And although I did know what that player did, I did not know WHERE this had happened. She continues to say THIS is the area he had grieved, and YOU KNEW IT. BUT YOU STILL BUILD HERE! I continued to plead to her that I swear on my very own life I had no idea that this was the place. And she continues to say, "Well I think its very odd that we just had an issue here in this same place and in the same day you decide to build right in the same area". And I said yes, coincidences do happen. And this is a coincidence.....Think about it.... If I knew I couldn't build here then why would i purposely tell you to come here to my dock so you can drive me to the boat? But the biggest part, was if you looked at the dock i built, it was a whole 150+ meters away from the guys base....maybe even more. And how many TCs did I have?....One....Zomb was actually and literally verbally freaking out on me because I built one SMALL dock, with 1 single tc, 150+ meters away from an area where an incident just so happened to be at. She said to break it down. I happily agreed with her to destroy it. Heres the kicker!.....As I was destroying it she decided to still keep going with it threatening a ban saying "yea go ahead and keep it i dont care, but im reporting you with screenshots to ban you". Im like, omg no...im sitting here destroying it like you asked me to do. I said i was happy to destroy it, like im doing now. Look what im doing. (bang bang bang *shooting it up*). And shes like yep, im gonna go send screenshots now. I would also be happy and very able to provide the footage that i recorded of the whole situation to prove her verbally saying it and to also prove how far away i was from his base, and also having only 1 TC. I felt I was being treated very poorly. 

And now for the last incident. I has said (TWO) things in chat in which was screen shot, circled, and deemed toxic and harassment. I was typing in chat a few moments before my PERM BAN, and one of the things I had said was "Fk* my computer". It kept crashing Rust roughly every 5 minutes. I was Perm Banned for saying this (upon one more thing im about to explain). This was not directed at any players whatsoever at any point in time. The second thing I said was when i was talking to one of my friends in chat about zomb telling me ("not to hog all the air drops, chinooks, helis, bradleys, etc etc.") Which is a topic I will not even go into. (But I Never knew I wasnt allowed to play the game as it was intended, even when i share my loot with everyone in the server happily on daily basis). So about the other thing I said in chat...When I was talking to my friend, the other player (the player that I built my dock near) had interrupted me with rude comments. This guy had a grudge with me for the past day or so bc I had built my dock near him. I told him stop having a grudge with me, I didnt even know i wasnt allowed to build near there. (I was also wondering who was so important enough that nobody in the game was permitted to build close to. Never knew a player could "Own" a piece of virtual land in the game!)...But we are NOT talking about that right now. Were talking about how I had said "hush, Im not talking to you." YES!! thats right. I was banned for saying "hush, Im not talking to you, your too sensitive". Meanwhile im sitting here In the USA zombie server and the whole past 1-2 days have been nothing but the F word, sexual comments, and many other things in WORLD chat. I cant count how many times the F word or other cuss words have been said in the chat. And what I said was nothing even comparing to what ive been seeing. I didnt even tell the guy to shut up, or shut his mouth, or stfu.....I told him to hush. And for this I am deemed toxic and harassment. 

Now upon telling this to admins as a "miniature" appeal, I was told I totally deserved the ban and it was out of the question and that I was warned multiple times and didnt listen. I want to refute this. This really upset me because everything was a misunderstanding, out of context, a coincidence, and most importantly, not known by myself due to ignorance. You cant punish ignorance. If a player didnt know you cant do something, you cant smash him with a perm ban and kick him out for good. I didnt know I couldnt use that greeting and not meet a consequence. Once i was warned about the greeting, I agreed i wouldnt do it anymore, and i listened, and I never did it again. Then I was warned about building in a place that I didn tknow that i wasnt allowed to build in. Then I was told I was warned for spamming, which is the only thing that I can stand here with my feet firmly planted, hands to the side, head up and say nobody has ever in the time Ive played Rustez has ever warned me about any spam. And let me tell you, I type at 200 GWAM. Most of you might not know this but, this is a fast typing pace. and then i was told not to write messages in quick short successions. But this is how I write. I cannot change habits. Other games ive played have very tiny chat entry allowances. One short sentence at a time and thats it. I've gradually incorporated this as my way of typing permanently. Let me tell you, this isnt done purposely. Its something about myself I can never change. Besides. when i write one sentence in RUST chat, theres not enough space to write a second sentence. its just cut off, forcing you to write a second sentence anyway!....So I just type one sentence, or thought, or saying, press enter, then type the next, just like any other normal human being would, but except I just type super fast. 

I hope you can understand my appeal. I have a deep passion for RUST. Not only this but i am a live streamer, and your servers are my only content I have. I have no job. I cant work because im disabled. Streaming is my livelihood, and my job that puts my food on the table. Of what scraps i can afford to eat. On top of this, Like i said in the beginning of this appeal, Rustez is the only server I play. Im banned on BOTH of your servers. Not just the one I was banned in, but both. Im banned by Zomb, and also by Fantana. Theres another server too! A server by the name of (Zombie PVE PVZ Coop Server). I was playing for 30 minutes there, and the admin comes in and asks me, "Hey I hear you got banned, what did you do to get the ban?"...so i told him..."its because I said "hush i wasnt talking to you"....5 seconds later I was banned Perm for "being rude". So now im banned in a 3rd server for doing absolutely nothing this time. As you can imagine, im extremely frustrated to the point where a grown ass man like myself is near tears. Im not over exaggerating. Put yourself in my shoes. A person whos passion is rust. And no matter where I turn im met with toxicity, harassment, hatred, and theft. And I am told "This is rust buddy".....but its always me thats getting some kind of punishment and not these other guys who are the REAL ones making rust toxic. 

Im just a normal player who is NOT toxic, that was just misunderstood and maybe a little bit misjudged. Im asking You to please, now that I know the rules, what I can and cant do, and what to watch out for, to let me become part of the server again. Maybe then you can see that Im not the person you think me to be.

 

[Death]

As stated in your ban thread we'll only consider your appeal after a weeks time. Until then you'll have to carry out your sentence. We appreciate the amount of time you've invested in this appeal but there are several concerns.

A) You have not apologized for your mistreatment of our admin team
B) You completely dodge fault and instead try and justify some of your actions.
C) You mentioned you did not deserve to be banned. I have to disagree. You've had twice the amount of warnings any other player could have incurred before being banned.
D) We do not enforce profanity as we're a matured community. Saying racial slurs, disrespecting other players and harassment is another story. You weren't banned for "being rude" you were banned because among just being banned on our other server, you almost immediately attempt to stir the pot on another. All of your bans are related to your obviously piss poor behavior. 

It would be in your best interest to stop shifting fault, admit you were wrong and apologize for your critical behavior towards our team who are only here to help in the best manner we can. We do not deserve to be treated any less than anyone else. Our servers are private and we reserve the right of judgment to maintain the peaceful atmosphere we have. No one is excluded from this.

[ZOMB]

Hemomaniac:

I'm feeling alot of pressure to respond here to you but not in a negative way. Maybe compromise! This is based on my judgement of the situation and how I saw it from where I stood as admin at the time. But for my dignity and self-respect, I need to share this with you and all who care for a long read. I really hope you will listen and try to compromise with me on this! Knowing that I don't have ill-will towards you.

AS Death has mentioned to you that you need to recognize where mistakes were made on your part. Recognize them, acknowledge them and try to make a negative into a positive by changing behavior. As far the ban goes, its up to admins now to decide your appeal and judge whether to give you a second chance.I can say I will accept your apology, IF you were to apologize, but I can’t say I can forgive you for this incident. 

The first time I spoke to you on the server is when a Cron and I were setting up his shop. You ran by us, looked at his shop and started to yell about how we didn’t’ have a holoscope. You said “I came all the way up here to get a holoscope that you said was in your shops and you don’t have one” Cron and I both stated we never had horoscopes. You in turn said to Cron and that I told everyone in the chat he was selling holoscopes. You didn’t read what I said. I told everyone to come to M15 if they wanted to and set a shop for new players as it was to be part of our community town. In turn, you told Cron that” There is only one player I hate on this server” which was referring to me. That was so hurtful bud.

Greeting Mustang the way you did was uncalled for using the “N” word. Not only did you verbally say it to him but you in turn became even more hostile towards him after he had simply asked you to not use that word. He didn’t know you and you were hovering around him at water treatment verbally attacking him. This would have been the first warning handed to you.

When the incident happened with Tinrah and William. You were fully aware of it as stated by another player as he mentioned you both had discussed it. You knew the area and you knew the player that had built there. Whether or not this was intentionally trying to pick a fight with the player or stir the pot more, it was unnecessary and just plain mean. To me that would be considered harassment of another player. I was upset as I don’t’ like to see other players treated badly or harassed. I asked you to take it down which lead to you arguing with me regarding my request. Meanwhile I was UNKNOWINGLY being streamed live WITHOUT my permission to do so. I never gave my consent. This was your second warning.

The loot became an issue as well as players complained they were not given a fair chance as you had already beating them to it. As I didn’t mention this to you to personally, I thought sending at message to all players on the server was more appropriate. However, due to the growing amount of complaints against you from other players regarding constant chat spamming. It really left me NO choice to but to hinder another warning. You were also asked by players on the server to stop the chat spamming, but you justified your actions. This would have been your third warning on the server.

I really tried Hemomaniac. I really had no issue with you nor tried to make you feel out of place. Everyone was always welcome to the server and you especially. You seemed so friendly when you joined the server. Everyone was chatting it up and keeping it lively, but then it started to turn ugly. It appears you were becoming bitter to other players when things were not going your way. Hence the holoscope incident. I’m not sure where this was coming from nor did any of players know what was going with you and why the sudden change in behavior. I really tried to get to know you Hemomaniac and really tried to get you to join us in the community and events, but it seemed the more I tried the more you kept pushing me away.

After the banning, I felt absolutely crushed. As part of my job as admin, there comes a time you must hammer down on a player. It’s the part I never thought I had to do because our community was really mellow, and everyone enjoyed everyone’s company. We all help each other out and made sure no one was left out. I usually put events on for us for only the UK Scourge players such as Balloon Wars, Chinook rides and what ever I was allowed to do for the players on the server. Just to keep everyone happy and want to enjoy their time playing. I really put my heart and soul into being admin on this server. I really wanted everyone to give a sense of community and do everything in my power to make sure everyone was happy and that the server had good vibes. But then there are incidents like this. *Cries* 

My question to you is: If it was another admin, would you have done the same if they banned you? Why did you have to publicly slander me and spit out my name repeatedly on the forums here on RustEZ? The way you have publicly slandered me and humiliated me in front of the entire RustEZ players and staff is so below the lowest belt there is. I would never wish that on anyone or even wish that on the ones who may deserve it the most. It sure makes me wonder, what on earth have I done to you to make you SOOO resentful of me? You isolated ME out of all the admins on the RustEZ server. How come? What sent you on this rampage? Trash talk from other players?

The whole show has made me sadly step down as admin. It has completely broken me from ever wanting to admin. I do not want to go through all of this again. Not only from you or anyone else. I was literally the most-softest admin here, I think. I really had some much-planned fun for the server and I had so much love for everyone here. I just don’t know anymore. My faith is just lost again.

I know I’m so beyond hurt now. I’ve had a really, really hard life already. More than anyone would care to admit. I’ve gone through things that would give any one nightmare’s and would be shocked I’m still here and living. You really need to realize some people are really hurting from past and present issues in real life bud. You never know how much you can hurt someone who is already broken enough. From someone trying to make a difference and try to put love back in the world again, you so made sure it was killed off here. You are NOT a bad person nor are is anyone trying to hurt you. I just want you to know that! I’ll keep sending positive vibes your way bud for whatever reasons your hurting from and hope time will heal it.

[hemomaniac]

If my long appeal did ooze sorrow in what i did, then I dont know what will. I am sorry for using the N word in a greeting. But when i say all of this is out of ignorance and i didnt know, this is 100% true. Zomb, you say I was fully aware of the situation. This is your perception. Yes, I did go to the report, i "skimmed" thru to see what the reason was and only the reason. I saw the reason, so then I came to the server and said, "well i dont see why this was a bannable offense, all he did was build". Until someone else in the server explained that he had put 10 TCs all around his base. THEN i understood what he had done. But I had NEVER known the location. OR the person who was the victim. Period. You can sit there and tell me that i knew all day until your blue in the face, but it comes down to, your simply wrong. I had no knowledge. Why else would i tell you to directly come to my dock just to drive me to the cargo ship? You think im trying to get myself banned? NO thanks. i would like to keep playing. 

As for Death and yourself saying that I am not taking ownership of my faults and trying to blame them on ignorance. You are 100%, equivocally, absolutely correct. In my appeal I have expressed my sorrow in myself using a word. This was MY FAULT. But the rest were completely unknown and unbenounced to me. Being a new player is one thing, but being told once about 1 thing i did wrong, and me understanding and not continuing to do it, is what I did. Whatever the offense was, I was told to not do it. And in return I said ok I wont do it. sorry I didnt know. And then a whole new different thing arrises that I didnt know about and you tell me not to do it, ad i say oh ok sorry i wont do that either. Then you put 2 or 3 different offenses together and say "i was warned multiple times and i didnt listen". This is wrong....very wrong. It wasnt the same thing over and over and over you warned me about. they were different "very minor" things that you warned about, and I continued to abide by. 

And as for me not liking you Zomb....Let me tell you. I have no had a good life either. In fact, im near suicide as we speak. You want to talk about bad lives,s I can give you a horror story. Its not about who has the worst life here, or who doesnt like who....Its how you treat another person. And during my stay in [EU] Scourge, you have treated me like some kind of criminal, following me around at every turn, watching my every move, keep accusing me of "knowing what im doing" by placing 1 single tc  that was 500 meters away from whoevers home it was, just so i can have access to the sea from the top, bottom, left, and right side of the map. Watch my stream of that day if you dont believe me. Even the part where i looked up Tinrahs offense, i have on video. I sat there for the next 2 hours wondering who the victim was in my stream. EVERYTHING I do, is on video already. I record and document my life of gaming. Anything you think of me to have ill-will of doing, just check my stream and youll see for yourself. Your right Zomb. Maybe if i was treated like a normal player, and not a criminal when im trying to have fun in the game being a normal person, maybe we would have a good relationship. But how you treated me for 2, almost 3 days, was criminal. I not only have to apologize to you, but i feel i would like an apology of how you scrutinized and tried banning me on several occasions because you dont like me or have some kind of grudge against me. You say you dont, but your actions against me clearly show you have some ill-will towards me. 

I want to end this by saying the following. Im pretty darn sure I said I was sorry in my first appeal. Numerous times. And continued to say I shouldnt have done it, whether it was part of my culture or my personal being. I want you guys to take a BIG HUGE LOOK at [US] Scourge. These admins, Ramen and Aurora, and even Tankie and the others, as well as some very amazing players who admin other servers such as $crim and Tribrats, They are all amazing admins who know how people are.Its very strange how I get along with all the admins, but one. They understand human nature and know that people are full of mistakes. Nobody is perfect in this world. And we make mistakes, we atone for them by showing our sorrow and explaining how this action occured, changing ourselves, and moving on with our lives and continue to have our fun in this World of Rust. Have you seen US server? Full of sexual comments, cussing, arguments back and forth, etc etc. and things are resolved in a simpler way. Here in EU you cant even sneeze without being put in the corner. Im simply muted, and ultimately banned for telling someone to hush. Outrageous. This world is not my fun however. This is my well-being, my livlihood, and my paycheck as well. I would never "knowingly" do something wrong purposely to get myself banned. 

I made that post about what youve done to me, Zomb, Because I wanted others to know what youve done and know their opinions on whether they feel it was warranted or appropriate. I wanted people to know why i was really banned. And not the reasons you want people to know i was banned. I was treated very poorly by you. You cannot refute that. But that post was taken down immediately right! Who dares to report an admin for abuse right? No way! thats blasphemy! I was trying to get out there what you have done to me.  

If this second follow up appeal doesnt say something and speak to you Zomb, then I dont know what will. If this doesnt get my unbanned and back into my favorite server, then I will give up. Ive explained this situation and explained myself, and apologized so many times that im exhausted. I wont be writing here again. If you choose to unban me I will continue gameplay with no grudges, no ill-will toward you. Just simply gameplay. In fact, you can make a safe bet I will not even speak in chat. You wont even know im there in fact. And if not, Ill just continue playing the over saturated, packed full server of [US] where I cant find any loot or good items because theres 50+ people at each monument or air drop. And when it gets too harsh playing there ill have to quit bc theres nowhere else to go. Thanks for listening to me. I hope you understand me a little clearer now, Zomb. 

If theres any way of me being unbanned, please put resources in my tc so when i come back all my stuff isnt destroyed. Then there wont be a reason for me to even come back. Base is below air field on the map. 

Edited December 18, 2018 by hemomaniac